Happy Birthday Dad!

Yesterday was my dad's birthday! I don't even know where to begin with that man... I wish I could just reach into my heart and show you how I feel about him. Sadly, I cannot. So I'll attempt to write it out here.

I'm not sure how to start this post, or how to express myself... So perhaps I will share random memories that have stuck with me? Yes, that sounds fun :)

I think I've mentioned before how my dad loves road trips. He's taken us on soooo many. At the end of one of our trips we were driving home, and I think he needed to rest his eyes, so I was driving to give him a break. He let me listen to my Hannah Montana cd on repeat for hours. Literally hours, people. Over and over and over. (I may or may not have loved Miley Cyrus and may or may not still do. Don't judge ;)) I remember being in that passenger seat and thinking how funny it is that he didn't mind listening to Hannah at all.

I love watching my dad with Owen. It's the sweetest thing. I remember the first time he held him. My dad was sick when Owen was born and wasn't able to hold him for a week or so. We were at the Briggs' house with new baby Owen. I'll never forget the look on his face when he picked up that sweet little baby boy for the first time; love. It was pure love pouring out of him, holding O so gently. I can't recall seeing anything like it. It was a beautiful thing.

One night the parents, Brys, and I were playing board games. I'm not sure what subject we were talking about, but I think I said something about my lack of dates I had at that time and how I'd never get married (yes, I'm that dramatic at times). I remember he looked up from the game in all seriousness and said, "Karinne, (he rarely calls me that, it's usually Rin, or Rinner) I pray two things for you, twice a day. I pray for you to find a man who will love and cherish you throughout this life and all eternity, and who will love and cherish the gospel throughout this life and all eternity." I didn't even know what to say. I was so taken back by it. Of course I knew that's what he wanted for me, but to hear him say it so seriously, full-heartedly, and matter-of-factly made me want to cry. I love that man. As he's served as stake pres and bishop, he's seen a lot of heartache, more than I could ever imagine, I'm sure. He knows that if I marry a man with those 2 qualities, it could save me from a heavy heart down the road.

One night he was out to dinner, the waiter was really flustered, the restaurant was busy, and he'd made a couple mistakes. My dad still gave him a big tip, like he always does. He said the waiter was probably working 2 jobs trying to provide for his family, he wasn't going to be stingy with him over some honest mistakes. My dad knows what it's like to be that busy dad working multiple jobs. (Did I mention he never complained about it either?) He knows how it feels to wonder how food will get put on the table for his family. He is good at putting himself in other people's shoes. He's a prime example of the golden rule.

On my last blind date, which if you know me, I am a huuuuge fan of ;), my dad sent me a text in the middle of it telling me he was thinking of me and was hoping I was having a nice time. That sweet man. He made my night.

When I was growing up, my dad worked for a company installing furniture. He worked so many hours, 50 or 60 a week. At the time, I had a serious obsession with Sponge Bob. A building my dad was installing furniture in had a little machine you could pay a quarter and get one of these Sponge Bob stickers. He'd bring me home a couple some nights. I remember getting home from school, and hoping when my dad got home from work, that he'd have another sticker for me. Over a few weeks, he gave me so many. I still have them. Despite working so many hours, having a wife, 4 other kids, and a time consuming calling, he remembered I loved Sponge Bob and knew I'd love those stickers. I felt so important to him.

One thing I love about my dad so much is his willingness to help people. The other night he stayed up late with me as I poured all my troubles on him. And I'll just cry as I write this too, because it meant so much to me. As we were talking I said how silly I felt because compared to most people, and the world, my troubles are nothing. I have so much, I shouldn't complain. He stopped me right there and said, "No, no, your troubles are real to you. Just because they don't seem as big compared to others, doesn't mean they aren't important." Gah, love him.

 I've never felt like a bother to him. No matter how many times I ask him to help me or ask him something, he drops what he's doing for me. Sweet man.

I shared this pic last year, but I love it, so here it is again :)

I wish I could add up all the time he's spent talking to me and helping me. Then add up all the time he's spent talking with and helping other people... Sheesh. I wish I knew what % of his life it would be. A big number I'm sure. And the thing is, he doesn't expect anything in return.

The other day I was off work at 4. I stopped to get gas in my car and didn't make it home til 430. When I got home I saw I had a missed call from my dad. He was in the kitchen and said, 'won't it be nice when you move out, so I won't be calling you the second you should be home to make sure you're okay?' We laughed. He calls me so often. But the truth is, I will miss it.

I'm so grateful to have him as a father.

Happy birthday Dad. I love you.

Bad Day?

This needed to be shared...

Looking Good There, Sunshine!

Two words: Body image.

These 9 letters are discussed quite often. The other day I was pinning away and came across this gem:

It really hit home. It got me thinking about how I talk to my body. I realized the first thing I do in the morning, is look in the mirror and critique every little thing,

"Stomach, why can't you be just a little flatter?"

"Butt, can't you be just a bit firmer?"

"Skin, I was outside for 2 hours yesterday, why aren't you more tan?"

"Boobs, why couldn't you have stopped growing 2 cup sizes ago?"

"Double chin, must you show up in every picture?"

And I realized; I sound like a crazy person.

Bodies are amazing things! I'm so fortunate to have one that works just the way I want it to. I think bodies are a gift. Is there anything else we'll physically have with us throughout our entire life? Not really. So why aren't we nicer to our soul's vessel?

I am suuuuper guilty of not being happy with mine... I used to go in spurts of hardly eating anything, to eating too much, to eating the right amount. Back and forth, back and forth. No matter what, I wasn't satisfied. Even after doing 'The Cleanse', not eating food for 10 days, and getting down to 100 pounds, I still wasn't happy with the way I looked. Scary, right?

But I figured out why this was the case: I compare myself to other girls; girls I know, girls I don't, girls on magazines, girls on facebook, and the list goes on... I feel kind of ridiculous admitting that... It's quite silly. I'm never going to have Miley's legs or Scarlett's curves, but I will have my legs, and my curves :) I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm never going to look like anyone else, because I'm me.

I'm a pretty active person, I workout 5 times a week, and I'm really into knowing what's in my food. I could work out harder and eat better, but I don't want the gym to consume me. & I want to eat ice cream. So, my body won't be 'perfect' & that's okay :)

I took a class about a year ago. We read a book called What to Say When you Talk to Yourself. I loved it. The author talked about how what we say to ourselves really has an impact on us. In short, you become what you think. If you tell yourself you're fat, lazy, and ugly, you will feel fat, lazy, and ugly. But if you tell yourself you're awesome, you look great, and you're brilliant. You'll feel awesome, great, and brilliant. It's so simple. I've tried it. And it's soooooo true. The more I tell myself I look amazing, the more amazing I feel. I somehow forgot about that, but I'm getting back on track. So here is how I talk to myself now,

"Check out that butt."

"Cute feet."

"Lookin good there, stomach!"   

"Legs, thanks for taking me places."

"Skin, you're great, no matter what shade of white you are." ;)

Here's to living a life with more positivity and no comparisons.

Cheerio.

Taylor

Sooooooo, My bff Kim and I went to Taylor Swift's concert... It. was. incredible. I can't even describe to you how much I looooooved it. So prepare yourselves for a lot of ''I loved it''s, smiley faces, and borderline craziness of this love I have for her.

I was so glad that Kim and I got to go together. She's the greatest and got us both tickets! Whatever would I do without her? Not go to the Taylor Swift concert, that's what! There's no one else I would have rather been with that night. We danced, we sang, we screamed, we laughed, ah :) After months and months of waiting, Taylor was finally here. I seriously had a smile on my face the entire concert. I couldn't help it.

Ed Sheeran opened for her. We were in the shirt line for an hour...

  (totally worth it, new favorite shirt :)) so we only saw the last couple songs of his. Pretty sure he's my new celeb crush. How cool is he playing for 14,000 people with his messy hair, Nike shirt, and tennis shoes? So cool. Know those people who are better live than on the radio or cd? He's one of the few. He's captivating.

Taylor's parents walked onto the floor between Ed's performance and hers. Everyone was cheering for them. How cute, right? What artist's parents are famous and embraced because of their child's work? During the shows, her parents go through the crowd and find the most enthusiastic fans to go meet Taylor after the show, at the 'T party'. So cute :)

 Then Taylor came out singing State of Grace (one of my faves off of Red :)) and my life was complete.

This is how cool Taylor is... After her first song, she introduced herself, "Hi, I'm Taylor" (such a doll!) Then she thanked everyone for coming; all who had seen her before, and all who were there for the first time. She said she was blown away by Salt Lake City, because we were the only show to sell out during the pre-sale. Crazy huh? The show sold out before it was technically on sale.

 

 She mentioned a couple times how she was able to see everyone in the room, even the people in the upper bowl, on the very top row. This may not seem like a big deal, but knowing first hand how it feels to be literally 3 rows from the very top the past 2 times I've seen her, I thought it was sweet she acknowledged those fans. Aaaand....

See that little screen on the right? That's facing the seats at the very tip top, so those friends can have a good view of the show. That Taylor thinks of everything :)

The thing about Taylor's concerts is, they are more than concerts. They're a production; lights, videos, fireworks, confetti, dancing- of all kinds, drumming, props, musicians, costume changes, and stage transformations are all synchronized to a song. And it's perfection how they do it.

'Holy Ground' is one of those songs you have to dance to. It's probably impossible to not be happy when you hear it. Cause darling, it was good never looking down. And right there where we stood was holy ground... Aren't there places in time you look back on and think that? Where everything felt so perfect, and you felt so full of life, so free? It's such a brilliant description. I have so many memories I can think about and say, 'Yep, that was holy ground.' :)

I think 'The Lucky One' was one of my favorite performances. It hasn't been one of my favorite songs, but her concert gave Kim and I a new perspective about it. Everyone thinks Taylor is so lucky. Everyone sees her as a glamorous, wealthy, famous, successful, gorgeous girl. In the video that played before the song, she was basically saying how people were cheering for her to make it, then once she made it, they were waiting for her to slip up; to fail. By the end of the song we felt like Taylor was saying we are the lucky ones. We aren't watched every second. Our lives aren't under a magnifying glass. Although she's so grateful for the life she has, I'd imagine it has the potential to be an incredibly lonely place. What we see as lucky, isn't always happiness.

Before 'Mean', she talked about being young and wanting so baldy to grow up. Because when you grow up, people are suppose to be nice. Kids wouldn't make fun of you anymore, no one would say or do hurtful things. But turns out, people can still be mean, and it can be worse than it was when you were a kid (I'd imagine even more so by being in the spotlight, like she is). One quote I love of hers is:

 

I love that Taylor is a nice girl. There's so much expectation in Hollywood for young gals to shake their 'good girl' image. I love that Taylor is proud of hers. She said in an interview, "Before I make a decision, I stop and think about the 10-year-old girl I saw last night at my concert in the front row. I think about her mom. I think about how they bought my CD, thinking that I'm a good role model. Then I think about how they would feel if I did something to let them down. I can't imagine a greater pain than letting one of those mothers down. I honestly can't."

Before she performed '22', a video played. It flashed a number, starting with 1, then showed a clip of her at that age, singing, all the way til 22. I loved that it showed her progression and hard work. I love stories like hers; a person finding something they're incredibly passionate about, working their heart out at it, and becoming something sensational. She's been singing since she could talk. She's been writing songs and poetry since she was a kid. She discovered what she loved, and did everything she could to not settle for something else. She even turned down a record deal at age 13? I believe, because they weren't going to let her sing her songs. Inspiring.

During the middle of the concert, she slowed it down a little bit, playing a couple songs acoustically. She said she likes that part of the show to be spontaneous. For that night, she picked to play 'Our Song'. She was on twitter that night, and a couple who would be at the concert tweeted and asked her to play it, because it's their song. So she did. I love that she's all about her fans. She understands that without them, she wouldn't have the life she has now. She does little things like that, that make all the difference. Side note, she wrote 'Our Song' for her ninth grade talent show. No big deal.

Loved this part of the show :)

'All Too Well'. Oh my goodness. This was the best part of the show. bbbbeeeesssssttttt. I was so happy she played this for us. It's my all-time favorite song of hers, ever ever ever. She sat down at the piano and started talking about how she tried to forget certain things, but she couldn't. So she decided to embrace those things, because they happened. So she told the whole story of them, in 'All Too Well.'

Towards the end of the song she sang, After plaid shirt days and nights when you  made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone.....

 Then she paused. The crowed screamed, and applauded. I couldn't. There this girl was, bearing her soul, in front of thousands of people. It was so pure and raw and brave. I had to soak it all in. I couldn't cheer. I couldn't interrupt that moment.

 

.... but you keep my old scarf from that very first week, cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me, you can't get rid of it, cause you remember it all too well. There we are again when I loved you so, back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known, it was rare I was there, I remember it all too well.... And I almost cried. She gave me serious chills. There was something about that performance... I've been listening to this song at least 3 times a day since it came out last October. I relate to it so much. To see her there, in the same room as me, telling me this story made it so real. It's easy to look at celebrities and forget that they're human, if that makes sense. But Taylor is a real girl. Those things really happened to her, she really felt that way. It made the song mean that much more to me.

'Sparks Fly' took me back to her concert two years ago. I went with my good friend Chris who is on a mission now. It was neat to be reminded of the fun we had that night, and nights after watching her tour dvd  (yep, we're that obsessed...). Even though I haven't seen him in over a year, no matter where we go in life, I love having little triggers like that to remind me of such good, good times.

'I Knew You Were Trouble' was awesome. I loved how it began. The violinist played a solo to start. She was so cool. A lot of the band members had solos, which I loved. I love that Taylor realizes there is a team of people helping her to put on an incredible show, and recognizes the talent of her band.

 The screen that says 'RED' changed throughout the show. At the end, it read 'Thank you :)'. Classy. The concert felt like 5 minutes. I didn't want it to be over. I'm so grateful I got to go and be apart of the music that has helped me through so much. Taylor never lets me down. June 1st, 2013 is on my top 'best nights ever' list.

Thank you Taylor, thank you :)