Your definition.

I ran into someone who used to be very close to me. Someone I love very much. I realized, although our relationship isn't close like it used to be, she is still & always will be, near to my heart. This gal had a lot of struggles. More than what I would ever think is fair. Years ago, we cried about these struggles together. She cried out of exhaustion, shock, immeasurable disappointment, and a bit of unnecessary guilt. I cried for her; that she had to endure this, that these unthinkable and devastating circumstances were part of her life now.

When we saw each a few weeks ago, we hugged and chatted for a few minutes, then parted ways. The second I said, "See you later" and turned away, my heart hurt; I couldn't focus & felt that scratchy tears-are-coming feeling in my throat. I wanted so badly to turn back and ask her,

Do you know how loved you are?

Do you know how much you deserve?

Do you know how strong you are?

Fight through this, you will make it! 

 

But I had seen it in her eyes; she had given up.

The reality is, these burdens and struggles became too much for this sweet gal. She tried to face them. She tried, so hard, to overcome them. But eventually, she gave up and gave in. It was easier to let those things define her. She became her circumstances.

We all have struggles. No one is exempt.

It's so easy & understandable to be consumed by those pains.

Mourning is necessary. Tears are needed. Feeling the hurt is important.

I've cried, screamed, & shook my head at the man above over my struggles.

These happenings can be so unbearably painful, that we see nothing else.
We become numb to protect ourselves from the hurt,
until we live nothing more than a hazy existence.

I don't blame my friend for making the choices she did. She has it hard. I want so much for her to find her old self, and never let her go. I hope with every ounce of hope I can make, that one day she will.

No matter what struggles you endure...

You are not what has happened to you.

You are not your past.

You are not your circumstances.

You are not your weaknesses.

Don't let your pain rule you.

Don't let it stop you.

Don't let it consume you.

Don't let it rob you of today.

You control your story.

You can change. You can forgive. 

You can let it go. You can rise above. 

You can overcome. You can triumph. 

You can conquer.

Take that pain and fuel it into your being to become stronger than you have ever been before.

Don't give up. Don't give in.

Stay strong.

& remember, you are loved.

A Little Dreaming.

Know what I wish?

I wish I never had to hear the sound of an alarm clock ringing again. That dang noise. I don't like its meaning. Every morning it's a reminder that I, Karinne of Utah, must get out of the comfiest, warmest bed earlier than I want to. Why must that thing ring... I wish I didn't have to rely on an irritating noise to wake me from my sweetest dreams. Lately I've been having a bunch of them. They aren't always sweet, but when they are, I sure don't want to leave them as soon as I do...

Sometimes I dream about love. You know, the cheesy, romanticy, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind. The kind that people hope for & search for their whole lives. That kind. & it's quite pleasant. I dreamed about the sweetest guy last night. Know in dreams how you don't have to see or hear anything to know what's happening? This was one of those cases.

In the dream, all I could see was myself and a man holding hands. It's what I couldn't see in the dream that I remember most. He didn't take any regard for how I looked. It was as if he were looking past the
physical and into my soul & wanted nothing more than to care for it, to comfort it, to protect it, and to help it grow.

He loved me, for me.

Perhaps that's what love is.

Perhaps one day we'll find it.

Sweet dreams.

Goodnight.

It's (kind of) That Time of Year

Good evenin' :)

If you haven't noticed, it's Halloween time...
I am not a fan.
in
the
slightest.

So I'm skipping on over to the designated 'thankful' time of year; enough with the scary, bring on the gladness!

But mostly -honestly- my heart has been really full lately, like it's going to burst from so much goodness.

So, here is a glimpse of the grateful part of my heart lately:

1. I'm grateful for my body. For the longest time my goal had been to be thin, to be skinny. With that mindset, I didn't always do what was best for my body. I mistreated it. A few months ago, I decided I didn't want that anymore. I was fed up with not feeling good enough. My body is a gift. It functions just as it was designed to. How ungrateful I had been to not be happy with it because I couldn't squeeze into a size 1 pant... So this past month and a half, my attitude & perspective has really changed; I don't want to feel tired & sick from trying to be thin. I want to be strong. I want to be able to use my body the way it was intended. I want to be fit. So I got a personal trainer and just finished my last session with her. She taught me so much about strength training- I am so grateful to her (thanks Nicole! :)). Although it's only been a month and a half, I can see changes. Not a ton physically yet, but mentally. It's amazing how much challenging my body in that way can rid me of stress and boost my confidence. I've never felt so strong & at peace with who I am.

2. I'm thankful for all the times my heart was broken. I've mentioned before, my best friend was reunited with her love after 2 years. I went on a double date with them last week. It was my first time meeting him & seeing them together. It made me so happy. I can't explain what they have... it's real, period. That's it. Being on that date with them made me grateful for one thing; that I hadn't settled. In the past, I've had opportunities to marry, but my heart wouldn't let me. It knew there was more. There was something missing in those relationships, something I couldn't really explain, but my heart knew. One day, I'll find that missing piece with someone new. Until then, I'm so grateful for all the tears I've cried, the sleepless nights, the disagreements, & the brokenness. Those 4 things have given me more than a marriage with any of those men ever could have. They taught me to trust myself & to trust God. They taught me how strong I am. They helped me realize what I deserve. I will forever be grateful for that.

3. I'm grateful for this gal.

Birdy is a dream.
I really want to tell you all about her, but I don't think I would do her justice.
You have to hear her for yourself.

She's natural, raw, & pure.
She doesn't try too hard. It's almost like she doesn't try at all;
her talent seems so effortless.
I feel like before she performs she's thinking, 'Hi, I'm Birdy, I'm just here to play a song for you guys.'
& that's all she wants.

She's a breath of fresh air.

This song has been on repeat for... ever. I can't stop myself, nor do I care to.

          
Faith in humanity restored.
Thanks Birdy.

4. I'm grateful for my travels. I've been able to see so much of the world. It never ceases to amaze me, this planet we live on. Travel awakes my soul. It has shaped who I am- it's made me better, fuller.

Experiencing new places fills me with... something. I don't know the word. Maybe there isn't one for what I'd like to convey... how do I explain... When someone mentions North Carolina, I remember laughing with Ashlee in a photobooth and poor little Owen crying in all the pictures. When someone mentions St. George, I think of my dad & the time he offered to drive Hollie and I down there for a concert of a band we liked. When someone mentions Montana, I think of Dallan and me laughing so hard in our tent after the hardest, longest hike of our lives. When I hear the words 'Grand Canyon', I think of our Aerostar van, no a/c, burning summer, & the stories we now tell of that lovely, sweaty drive ;) When I hear 'China Town', I think of high school choir tour, Maren, Kristen, and I, & our matching bras & Hannah Montana shirts- we were cool ;) When someone mentions Bryce Canyon, I think of Kim, pouring rain, & laughing at how cold and wet we were.

San Fransisco

St. George

Illinois

Glacier

Great America

Moab/Arches

Big Cottonwood Canyon

Zions

 Bryce Canyon

Disneyland

Cedar City

Idaho

Park City

North Carolina

Six Flags

Yellowstone

Arizona

Texas

Zion Ponderosa

Brooklyn

American Fork Canyon

Sea World

Grand Canyon

Kannaraville Falls

Las Vegas

San Diego

Provo Canyon

Lake Tahoe

Nauvoo
NYC
Sacramento
&
Myrtle Beach
 all hold pieces of me; they are part of my story.
They taught me something; they gave me something.
They are all part of my heart forever.

I'm fortunate to have been able to experience all that I have. I'm so grateful to all the people who have made my travels possible. Whether it's been across the country, or a place an hour away from my home, I am thankful for you who have helped me get there; my parents, siblings, friends, friends of friends, and various organizations. You are part of my heart forever.
 

Thank you <3

5. I'm thankful for these people (my roomies ;))

Where do I begin?

This year has been a roller coaster.. but I've come to find, that is life. It forever has been, and always will be a roller coaster. These 3 souls have been there for me at every point on my bumpy ride. I've cried on many occasions to them out of frustration, sadness, and confusion. & as hard as the world tries, at times, to keep me down, they keep building me up.

A few months ago, Mom & I shared a lovely brownie and had a nice little (okay, a big) cry together. It had just been one of those days (okay, maybe weeks... okay, maybe parts of life are just rough for long periods of time) for us both. It was one of those times each of us had to cry for all the unfairness in the world... (I know, that's a whole lot of tears). My mom and I haven't always had the closest relationship, but after that talk I think we understood each other much more clearly than we ever have before.

Remedy for a tired heart:
A good brownie,
lots of tears,
& Mom.

Dad & I have always been close. A while ago, I was going to do something I knew he wouldn't be too fond of. So I tried to keep it from him... of course it came out, (it always does, even at age 23). We talked for a while about it. I'm sure he was frustrated, maybe even baffled; because looking back, I am a bit baffled about my logic as well (live & learn, right?). While we were talking he looked at me and said, "You knew what I'd think about this, that's why you didn't tell me.." Then he chuckled; I'm pretty sure he was thinking, 'you little turkey' ;) then he said, "I am your conscience, Karinne." That really hit me. I've thought about those words a lot since; I am your conscience. If I had always looked at myself the way my dad sees me, I would have made much, much better decisions.

He will always think I'm worth more than anyone could measure.
He will always want the absolute best for me.
He will always think I deserve the best.

The other night Brys and I were talking. He said, "Man, Karinne, I can't wait for you to get married." & I'm thinking ''how sweet, he's dying to have the whole basement to himself'.' I laughed and asked him why. He said with a smile, "'Cause your husband is going to be so awesome! You're so awesome, imagine how cool he's going to be."
I almost broke down in tears.
That my friends, is love.

6. I'm grateful for you. For staring at the screen right now, reading my heart laid out in words.

I wish you knew how much...
 each and every comment,
every single e-mail,
every 'like' on my link from facebook,
all the texts,
& conversation that include "I read on your blog..." means to me.
 I wish I could explain it. Those words are always received with the happiest & most grateful of hearts. You'll never know.
Thank you.

How's your heart doing?
What does it appreciate most?
<3

How Do You Use Your Words?

In my psychology class we were discussing how there is only one reason human beings dominate the earth;

language is that reason.

That's it. That's the only reason we have dominion over other creatures.

And that got me thinking...

Words are very powerful things. How am I using mine?

I've been trying very hard to speak only kind words about people. Yes, I slip sometimes. I get frustrated. I get bugged. However, I recognize those instances & try harder from that moment on.

The longer I live, the more I realize how hard life can be. Becoming an adult makes older people, who once sheltered me from the sadness of life, much more open about it. I've learned some heartbreaking things about people I've known and loved for years & years. Even after spending so much time with, knowing, and loving certain people, I never knew their hardest battles. 

I've found, people who really, really struggle, are not quick to share. They often go to great lengths to hide their pain. They often cry behind closed doors. They often feel like their problems are nothing compared to the world's. They are the humble, selfless ones.

Learning about people's battles has often brought me to tears. It has often made me reflect on how I could have been nicer to them; I could have done more, I could have been more, for them.

This has taught me to be kind, always. People struggle enough. They don't need someone speaking unkind things about them, behind their back or to their face; both cause damage.

Be kind.

Don't hesitate about giving a compliment, holding the door open, asking how a person's day went, or giving a hug. Often times when someone has given me a hug or a smile, I didn't realize how much I needed it.

Sometimes, kindness is not an easy thing...

Rude people used to hurt me. I'd cry at work when a customer would yell at me over something so ridiculous. I'd get upset when someone would say something unkind about me, and find it so very easy to shoot a dart back at them. 

Lately, this has changed. It seems once I have things together & I'm so very happy, life throws me a challenge (Bring it on).

People have tried to bring me down lately; call me names, raise their voice, insult me and not own up to it, all in attempts to hurt me, to scare me, and to bring me lower. But guess what?

I'm not scared.

I'm not hurt, because I know those words are not true.

I will not be brought down.

Initially, I was mad.

I could almost feel the steam coming out of my ears & shaking in my bones. 

I wanted to scream back so loudly, so many hurtful things. 

I wanted to pierce their heart just like they had done mine.

But I didn't stoop to their level.

I bit my tongue so hard, I thought it would bleed.

Know why? Because..

(Eric is so right on this one.)

People who are strong do not bring others down;

Strong people don't ever make others feel weak.

Rude people need hugs.
They don't need a retaliation of rudeness thrown back at them. 

They need more sunshine in their lives; they're lost, insecure, & scared. 

To protect their vulnerable hearts, they try to make others scared too. That way, they don't feel inferior simply by a confident presence.

So bite that tongue. I promise as soon as insulting words leave your lips, you'll wish you could reel them back in. As hard as it can be to hold in what you're wanting to say, hold it. With time, you'll be grateful you did.

The facts are; 

I am a strong woman.

I am confident in myself and things I do. 

I love the way I live.

I love who I am and who I am becoming.

This is not boasting.

Loving yourself and what you do should be a part of everyone's mindset & heart.

If it's not, then what are we doing?

Love yourself, and it's easier to love others. Even those who are difficult to love.

Be strong, be kind.

You never know who you are inspiring.

Your kindness will impact the name callers.

Maybe not today, or even a year from now, but it will.

Remember, you are a champion.

It's a Good Life.

Hi :)

I'm happy.

I think it's safe to say I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole existence...

Is that crazy?

or just crazy cool?

I've found myself smiling, skipping, and singing more than usual. 

Usually, I never skip... at least not since 2nd grade, but lately, in parking lots, I just can't help myself.

I don't know why...

Maybe because I love fall; maybe my soul feels most alive this time of year.

Maybe it's this pumpkin patch I get to pass by almost every day.

Maybe it's because my best friend was reunited with her love after 2 years.

& it's the sweetest thing.

Maybe it's because this kid is in my life.

& he's changed me more than he'll ever know.

Maybe it's because I've got to hike a lot lately...

 

...with the loveliest...

...of people.

 & saw the greatest of things.

Snow in September?

 

welcome to Utah :)

 It doesn't get...

 ...more perfect...

 ...than this.

 

 Also, this is a bug.

Anyone know what on earth it is?

Besides a little ball of fuzz...

So cute.

Maybe it's because I have this woman as a sister.

Last night I was with her. She put her arm around me and said, "I love you Rinny." For no reason at all. What a sweety :)

Maybe it's because I got to hold this little piece of heaven for an hour last week.

so happy for you, Farr family :)

Maybe because this lady exist.

 

& she writes music for me to smile about, cry to, & feel empowered by.

Maybe it's because Kim is my best friend. & we had the best night at the fair.

 I've never been so lucky to call someone my friend. Recently someone said terrible, heartless things to me. Someone I care about very much, which makes it that much worse. I text her about it with shaky hands and tears in my eyes. Just a hint of her reply was;

The best revenge is your happiness!! Do not let him take that from you! Keep a smile on your face and he will know that he doesn't have any power of you anymore! You truly are the brightest light in the world. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Don't ever let anyone dim that light Rinne.. No one.

She reminded me I am in control of my happiness. I am in control of my story. She helped me realize happiness is completely and utterly a choice.

I've always been told this. I've always heard 'it's all about your attitude'. I've always known it,

but I've never fully lived it.

Until now.

There's no reason to mope about things out of my control. The facts are, I can't control;

-when people are rude to me, for no apparent reason.

-the price of Steve Madden boots...

-meeting the right one.

-my loved one's poor decisions.

There will always be something to complain about and be upset with, but look at the positive side;

-rude people have shown me how i do not want to be & pushed me to be nicer.

-Steve Madden's prices give me something to dream about ;)

-not having met the right one, gives me something to look forward to, each and every day. Because today, could be the day :)

-they're on their own journey, just like me. I made decisions no one -who cared about me- agreed with, and I came around. One day, those loved ones will too.

The guy who said those hurtful things to me, said them out of envy. I'm happy, he's not. It's that simple. Ultimately, I feel bad for him. I wish he could find peace in his life. I wish he didn't have to tear others down to feel better within himself. But sir, you will not tear me down. Your words will only build me up, because I know who I am; I am strong, I am powerful, I am enough, I am smart, I am courageous. & your words will have no hold on my heart or mind. I hope you find those same things within yourself one day.

Maybe it's because I've made peace with my past. 

Know those things you kick yourself for doing, even years after doing them? I thought I'd forgiven myself for doing, saying, and ignoring certain things...

Turns out I hadn't.

I started writing my book, but in order to tell the story I want to, I had to go back through my journals and read what I wrote during the times I was most lost.

It was really hard. I hated reading it. It brought back everything; every thought I had, every smell I breathed, every moment I wanted to scream, every time I cried out of confusion and frustration, every time I was too weak, too scared to speak up... I've kept those memories from the front of my mind, on purpose. Going back and seeing my writing on that lined paper, reminded me those things happened. They were real.

But, as I've written and pieced things together, I've realized how strong I am, how much I've learned, how far I've come, how much I've grown, how much I've changed, & how much I love who I am now- because of those places I've been, that will never be revisited.

The thing is, I could be upset with myself for those things in my old journals, but it wouldn't make sense, because of what I let those experiences shape me into. I don't let them have hold on me. I let them fuel me, to never be that way again, to always strive for progress & improvement, and to be that strong girl who has always been inside me.

& maybe, it's all of the above.

 Love it all & soak it all in; from pumpkin patches, to family, to good conversations, to those moments your heart feels like it will burst.

Life is good, folks.

A Simple Question

Ever think about the power of a sentence? The power of a conversation?

Let me tell you a story of a conversation about a conversation that hit me hard.

This past summer, my friend and I were chit-chatting. The two of us are in the same stage of life; getting to our mid-twenties, not sure what to do school wise, single, not sure what to do career wise, debating on moving out... Ya know, the typical life of a 20-something-year-old... decisions, decisions ;)

She told me she was talking with a mutual acquaintance of ours (who is a seriously resilient lady). They had had the same conversation we were having at the moment. Their conversation went like this:

Resilient Lady: "If you could do anything for a career, anything at all, for the rest of your life, what would it be?

My friend: "Um... I think I'd be a photographer."

R.L: "Great! Then why don't you do it?"

My friend: "Huh? Well, because...."

R.L: "No, but really, what's stopping you? Why not do it?"

This hit me like a ton of bricks.

So I asked myself the same thing... If I could do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g, what would it be?

Easy answer: write.

I'd always given myself excuses as to why I couldn't, why I shouldn't;

It's not realistic.

What if no one will publish my work?

 I won't make much money at it.

Writing is more of a hobby than a profession. I have a blog, that's good enough.

I have zero experience as a real writer...

It would take a long time to write a book.

Books are completely different than blogs, you may not even be good at it.

It's hard enough for you to put your thoughts on a website for the world to see, why give them a hard copy too?

 and the list goes on...

So I kinda brushed it off. Took those thoughts and packed them away, until last week. I was at a family get-together, talking to my aunt. She's a sweety. She likes to give me ideas of what i should do school & career wise, ya know, help a sister out ;) She kept listing off options; cosmetology, dental assisting, teaching, personal training, getting a job at a bank. To all these choices, I had an excuse as to why I didn't want to. But I'm beginning to think I had so many excuses, because bottom line, I want to write.

The thing is,

maybe it's not practical.

Maybe no one will publish my work.

Maybe I won't make a dime.

Maybe in the literary world, I'm an amateur.

Maybe only 5 people would read my book.

 But that doesn't matter.

What matters is being able to look back and know i wrote it, because that's what I wanted to do. I don't want to be gray-haired, sitting in my comfy chair, starting on a book I wish I would have written decades ago. I don't want a long bucket list when I'm 65. I want my whole life to have been lived as a bucket list. 

So here it goes. It may take me years. I may struggle. Yet, I will love it; struggle, nerves, and all.

A very wise man once said,

-Gordon B. Hinckely

Think I can juggle family, friends, work, school, dating, church life, gym life, & write a book? The answer is a resounding YES. Because I want to enjoy life, not just get through it. & you should too, because it's an incredible thing we've been given.

So, here's my question to you...

If you could do anything what would it be?

Now, why aren't you doing it?

Let's live a little, yeah?

Happy Tuesday to you & yours :)

I wish I had known then...

It seems like so much emphasis these days is being put on young girls... or maybe I notice those conversations more because I happen to be a girl... Either way, I've seen, heard, & read a lot lately;

this video on youtube & this blog post all over facebook

My dad asks me about apps & social media, to stay informed, get my input, and try to keep my younger brother from getting involved in not-the-best of things. Then he tells me how people use these apps in ways I'd rather not know...

 I've had conversations with two of my co-workers, who are both in high school. One knows 8 girls her age who are pregnant. The other knows a girl her age whose mom encourages her to post pictures in her bikini on instagram...

And last but not least, Miley. Truth is, after I got over the craziness & shock of her performance, I was sad. I was so sad for her.

I thought life was challenging when I was a teen. Compared to now? Not even close (I thought only parents said that...). And my teenage years, my friends, were only a few years ago.

My heart breaks for these young girls growing up in such a time. Not only do they worry about normal life, but virtual life too. They're focused on followers, friends, texts, tweets, likes, & comments. They constantly see edited pictures of their friends and celebrities looking flawless & compare themselves to the unreachable perfection. They'll make mistakes, do stupid things, post embarrassing pictures, and tweet & text words that can't be deleted, for all the world to see. All in the attempt to feel validation through 'likes'.

All this got me thinking about what I would tell the young ladies of the world if I could reach them all...

So I took a trip back to my 14-year-old self, and tried to relive the years following... I didn't like it. I don't like going back there. I almost wanted to cry... 

These are just a handful of the things I wish I had known (and believed) then...

-There's nothing wrong with being a good girl. I hated being labelled as a 'goody good'. The way people looked at me, and talked to me at times made me feel like I was doing something wrong by being 'good'. I never did drugs, drank alcohol, failed classes, had sex, or went to a real party. Some days I'd leave school early because of comments people would make about me never doing anything wrong. Even at home, my siblings would have me ask our parents for something we wanted, because I was the 'perfect one' and they'd supposedly be more inclined to say yes to our request. It was tiring, because friends, I am not perfect. Some days I could feel the frustration building inside me; I'd want to go out and do something to give people a shock. I wanted them to see I wasn't perfect; I've done and said p.l.e.n.t.y of things I'm not proud of.

To those 'good girls', hang in there dolls. Hold on to your pureness. Being 'good' isn't bad. Be proud that you've done what you've felt in your heart to be right. Be proud that you've lived how you've truly wanted to. Be proud you didn't let others convince you to do things you didn't want to. In a few years, you'll look back and be glad you didn't go out and do something to give the world a shock.

& to you 'bad girls' who want to be good. It's never to late. You got this.
I promise.


-Confidence is your golden ticket. It'll take you places you never knew you could go. It's hard to gain. It's hard to know how or what to do to grasp it. Once you get it, you'll be free as a bird & wonder how you ever stayed on the ground :)

1. Try new things; anything from baking or drawing, to yoga or the flute.
(This blog was an attempt at getting out of my comfort zone & now maintaining it is one of my favorite things to do.)



2. Remember, failure isn't a bad thing; it means that you tried. & no one ever regretted trying.

 

3. Fear is a prison. Don't let what others will think stop you from saying, doing, or being something. Use that voice of yours, no matter how quiet it is. With each assertion you'll gain more confidence and courage, and your voice will go from the size of a mouse squeak, to the roar of a lion.

4. Don't rely on compliments from others to keep you confident; that is temporary. Compliment yourself. When you look in the mirror, tell yourself only positive things. Tell yourself how pretty you are, how great you look, how gorgeous you are. Talk to yourself like you would someone you love, and you'll come to find your love for you :)

5. Think for yourself. Consider other's opinions & points of view, but ultimately, listen to & heed your soul- deep down in there. It won't let you down.

-Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing you can do for yourself. It fills your soul with hatred not only towards others, but towards yourself. Want to know a secret?

We compare our worst to everybody's best.

So when you're sitting in your room, scrolling through your instagram feed and seeing all those gorgeous selfies, remember this: those girls took an hour to get ready, took 15 pictures to get the right one, then they spent 20 minutes editing it until it looked just perfect. So you, sitting there in your pajamas after a long day may not feel as beautiful as them, but guess what?

You are.

& if you wanted to, you could spend all that time and energy into having a pretty selfie, too. And you'd get just as many likes. But it wouldn't matter, because what matters is feeling good about yourself, not having others feel good about you.

Instead of comparing yourself to other gals, compare yourself to who you were a day ago, a week ago, a year ago. What have you improved on? What have you accomplished? What have you learned?


-Read. Read. Read. Read. Turn those Kardashians off and open your mind to things of importance; growth, intelligence, wisdom. Search until you find a book that makes you want to read. Don't stop looking, they are out there! Care more about what's in your head, instead of what's on it.

 

-When you get dressed in the morning, don't choose your outfit & hairstyle based on who you'll see that day. Base it on what you feel comfortable, pretty, and confident in. Dress for you. 

Beauty isn't simply how you look; it is being the best version of yourself inside and out. Kindness is never ugly & neither are those who give it.
 

 

-I've come to find that I knew almost nothing of love when I was a teen (including nineteen.) It's hard to learn not only how to love, but how to be loved as well.

Boys matter far less than you give them credit for. They should take up maybe 3.2% of your thoughts, not 83%.

If a boy tells you you are a word that starts with a 'b' and ends with an 'itch', he doesn't & never will appreciate you. Run like crazy, girl.

Don't blow off your friends or family for a boy. Chances are, one day that boy will be gone, and you'll be wishing you would have been better to those who really care about you. (& if you're entire family is telling you a boy isn't good for you, he isn't. It's okay to admit you shouldn't have been with him. Common mistake.)

 If a boy asks you to send him a picture message with some clothes missing, don't respond. Block his number. You won't regret it. Boys who deserve your attention would never ask that of you. A man worth being with, will be more interested in your mind & soul than your body.

Remember this gem. Thanks Rob Bell.

Ladies, if he loves you, he'll keep his hands to himself. He'll use his hands to hold yours, to hug you, to wipe your tears away, and to hold your face after a gentle kiss. He won't try anything else. My friend has dated the same boy for years. Not once has he tried anything with her. & never has she been more in love or loved, than with him.

When it's really, really love, you won't be silently convincing yourself that it is. You won't be trying to make people believe that it is. You won't be wondering to yourself, 'is this it?'.

Being in love isn't nearly as important as I thought it was, years ago. Figuring out love is hard. It's tricky; manipulation looks like love. Pet names sound like love. A kiss feels like love. But those things don't always mean love.

Don't be in a hurry to find a guy to fall in love with. I promise, you could go out right now and find a willing guy. But you want the right one. & the right one is worth the wait.

Focus on you. Do what you love. Learn all you can about yourself and life. He'll be there when you're both ready. I promise.


-Drama. Liars. Cheaters. Those words seem to coincide with high school.
I once had my 2 very best friends, the people with my full trust, completely destroy it. I didn't know how they could do the things they did. I had never cried so hard in my life. I had never been so mad, so upset, so confused, so broken, and so hurt. I wasn't worried about forgiving them. I just wouldn't talk to either one of them for the rest of my life... but that did work. I realized I had to forgive them. I had to tell the 2 people who had hurt me more than anyone ever had, that it was okay. And I had to mean it.

It took a long time. Months & months & months. Almost a year.

It wasn't until I ran into one of them that I realized I could forgive him.

 I realized, forgiving doesn't mean you accept people back in your life the way they were before. It means if you happen to see them, you can smile at them, and be at peace.

So forgive the girls that told you you were stupid and ugly. Forgive the boy who kissed you and wouldn't talk to you again. Forgive the teacher who made you feel like a fool.

Let it go.

 -Surround yourself with those who make you better; who lift you up.

 

Sometimes people like this are hard to find. But they're out there. Keep looking.  You really only need a few real friends, not dozens of people who claim to have your back.

When your friends get jealous a boy likes you, or gets upset that you are captain of the team and not her, or tells you a boy called you ugly; it's time to get new friends. Those girls aren't 'the real ones'. They don't appreciate you for you.

When your parents seem over-protective, judgmental, and annoyingly into your life, it is simply because they love you. They're doing their job as a person who brought a human being into the world. They want nothing but happiness for you. Regardless of how bothersome it is at times, remember it's done out of love and nothing else. They know your worth. They're trying to help you see it, too. You don't always have to get along, but respect their opinion.

-Don't speak unkind words about anyone, it will only bring you lower.

Know those people you can't stand? Maybe you're jealous of them, maybe they're arrogant, or maybe they bug you for some reason you can't figure out.

Give them a compliment.

It's hard to dislike someone you are complimenting. Soon enough, they won't bug you so much, and your heart will have more room for love.

 

Everyone has a story and you'd probably be shocked to hear most of them. Don't judge. You don't know where people have been, or why they live the way they do. Only love them.

Do at least one thing to help the world every day; bring in the neighbor's trash cans from the curb, do the dishes for your mom, or smile at a stranger. You'll never know the big impact little things can make. Focusing on helping others will calm your soul & clear your mind.

You don't need tens or hundreds of likes on a photo to be pretty.

You don't need to be in love to be happy.

You don't need to be someone else to be confident.

 Love yourself, every bit of you.

Stay strong ladies.