My Grandparents

Until I was about 19 years old, the only state I'd really seen my grandparents in was a state of happiness. Growing up, going to Grandma and Grandpa's house was always a treat; cousins, presents, candy, games, what more could a kid want? My grandparents' homes have always been a place of love.

Maren, me, and Grandpa and Grandma Linnell at our high school graduation, in 2008.

Travis, me, and Grandpa and Grandma Ash at their 50th wedding anniversary party a couple years back.

I remember growing up, Hollie and I would have sleepovers at my grandpa and grandma Linnell's home with my cousins Maren and Andrea. We'd spend the day painting ceramics, which my grandma is sooooo talented at. She'd have a bunch of new ceramics we could choose from to paint. She'd get out old shirts of my grandpa's for us to wear over our clothes, incase we got some paint on us. We'd spend the whole day painting our ceramics. It was the best; the five of us sitting around the table, talking and painting away. I remember Grandma would always paint the eyes of our ceramics for us, those were the trickiest, and she would paint them flawlessly. After we finished our ceramics, we'd get dinner, then go for a walk to the nearby elementary school and play. In the morning, we'd always have fruity pebbles for breakfast :)

 This is Easter at my grandpa and grandma Linnells, many years ago. By the look on Dal's face, I think he hurt his finger, so my grandma is helping him, making it better :)

I remember sleeping over at my grandpa and grandma Ash's one time. I think my parents went on a little trip for the weekend, so my grandma, being the thoughtful person she is, washed our clothes so my mom wouldn't have as much laundry to do when she got back from her peaceful weekend. Unfortunately, I left some pokemon cards in the pocket of my tan overalls she washed. My cards were ruined. I remember being disappointed (pokemon was what recess was all about back in those days), so my grandma sent my grandpa to the store to buy me some new cards. It made me so happy.

How cute are Grandma Ash and Brys??

The thing about my grandparents is they are always there; birthday parties, dance recitals, basketball games, baseball games, track meets, softball games, choir concerts, football games, graduation, bridal showers, baby showers, weddings, every holiday you can think of, and the list goes on and on. No one has to ask, "Are Grandma and Grandpa coming?". It's just a given, of course they are coming, of course they will be there. They don't forget anything that might be important to their grandchildren. Every birthday, Grandpa and Grandma Ash call me to sing happy birthday to me. I recently had a date, and my grandma Linnell was anxious to know how it went. If it's important to me, it's important to them.

 Grandma Linnell and me, chillin during Christmas, years ago :)

  Grandma Ash playing with Dallan during Christmas of '88. This sight happened each year, at both grandparents' homes; mounds of presents, wrapping paper, and plenty of love.

My grandparents are always willing to help. Always. I remember my mom telling me a story about my dad's parents. When I was little, we (my parents and 4 kids) lived in a two bedroom apartment. My dad woke up early every morning to deliver doughnuts, then he'd go to his full time job. After that he'd do odd-jobs for people; painting, yard work, etc. My parents worked really hard for us kids. But sometimes they'd wonder how they would be able to put enough food on the table for us. My mom said at times like those, my dad's parents would show up with bags and bags of groceries for us. This brings tears to my eyes. I can't imagine worrying about how I'll be able to feed my sweet babies, then my parents coming to the rescue. I think parents have a sense for that stuff; they know when their kids are in need, and help them, even when they're all grown up.

I just found this gem. I love it. My grandpa Linnell is holding Maren and me. Melts my heart.

I don't think I really understood my grandparent's love for me, until Owen was born. I saw my dad hold him for the first time. My dad was sick when O was born, so he had to wait a week or so until he could hold him. When he finally did, it was a moment I won't forget. I'd never seen his eyes light up so much, just looking at someone. He held that tiny baby boy in his arms so gently, and so safely, just starring at him in amazement. I felt so much love in that moment... Everyday it seems, my parents bring up something Owen said or did, how cute he is, how funny he is, how smart he is, how sweet he is. Their eyes light up every time they see him, or even talk about him. It hit me a while ago; almost 23 years ago, my grandparents held me the same way my dad held Owen. And I'm sure I felt as much love then, as I did seeing my dad hold O.

Grandma Ash and Bryson, 16 years ago

Grandma Linnell and Hollie 20 years ago.

Grandpa Linnell and Dallan, probably 22 years ago. By the way Dal looks, I think Grandpa found him in a mess ;)

Like I said earlier, I hadn't seen any other side of my grandparents, besides happy, until a few years ago. My uncle Steven passed away. During that time, our family was together often; tears shed, hugs given and received, a lot of sorrow and love surrounded us. That was the first time I can recall seeing my grandparents cry. Recently, both of my grandpas have had serious medical problems. Seeing them hurt is heartbreaking for me. But the fact that I've seen their vulnerability, their pain, their hurt, means I'm an adult. I'm sure my grandparents had plenty of heartache throughout my life, but they didn't let me see it. They held off showing me their pain, because they knew I would have sorrow of my own when I grew up. They let me be a kid, and gave me every ounce of happiness they possibly could.

How fun are these two pics? Christmases from so many years ago...

I've learned so much from these 4 good, good people. I could write a book on that topic alone. Both of my grandpas are such giving men. I can't count how many times Grandpa Linnell has been to our house to fix our washer, dryer, or other appliances. I know how much he worries for his family, how much he yearns for our safety and happiness... I've never heard Grandpa Ash complain about lending a hand- or really, complain at all, ever. There's no debate in his mind of if he should help someone, it's automatic. He helps, that's just who he is, through and through... My grandma Ash has told me on many occasions to marry a good man. I remember being 12 or 13 and her telling me that, and she's told me many times since. Watching how my grandpa treats her has shown me what a good man is. She is so embracing towards everyone. At family gatherings, everyone and anyone is welcome. That's taught me a lot about life... My sweet grandma Linnell has taught me to be faithful to what I believe. Never give up on my faith, stay strong, and things always work out for the better, even when things are tough. She sends me texts and emails full of love that always bring a smile to my face...

Seeing their examples of love towards each other has helped me understand the kind of relationship I want to have in a marriage. They work together, they're a team. They're equals. They're selfless. They're giving. They're loving. It's a beautiful thing to be able to witness 2 couples who have been together the majority of their lives, and see their love only get stronger. They're hardships have brought them closer together... Most people's life goals include growing old with their best friend. All four of my grandparents can check that off their list, how neat is that?

I'm so fortunate to have such people as examples in my life. I love you Grandpa & Grandma Linnell and Ash <3

Love is in the Air

It's the day of love. And love is something I've thought a lot about. I'm an almost-23-year old female, how could I not? It seems since I was a little girl I've been taught that it's one of, if not the greatest thing that can happen to me; Growing up, I'd watch The Little Mermaid over and over and over again, dreaming of not only to be a mermaid with an amazing singing voice, but to meet a handsome prince one day. I remember being taught as a young gal, in church, to marry a good man who deserves me. We even made time capsules to open on the day we get married, which I still have tucked away in my closet. And now, I've watched most of my friends and family members of age, meet their prince or princess and get married.

I used to have a lot of doubt about 'Happily Ever After'. I couldn't see how two people could genuinely be happy being together forever. But because there is so much hoopla about it, doesn't that mean someone has to have done it? And who wouldn't want to experience a relationship like that... I've heard it referred to as 'friendship set on fire'. I love that term. That makes sense to me. I want to be ready for that kind of connection. I don't want to be unprepared. So I've being doing what I can now, to be ready when I meet someone who I can see myself getting old with.

 I'm a pretty observant person. I watch people, sounds creepy.. I know. I make mental and written notes of what to do and what not to do in relationships. I take in what I personally experience, what I observe people doing, and things I read or hear. One thing I heard in 2010 really stuck with me. I was watching Oprah (totally miss her show by the way) and Pink was on. She had recently gotten back together with her husband after being separated. During their split, she said she was talking to her dad about it. He told her to make a list of what she wants in a spouse. Then look at the list and evaluate whether or not she had those qualities. If she didn't have them, how could she expect him to? That spoke volumes to me. It really got me thinking about who I wanted to be, not only for myself, but for my future family.

I remember in the time capsule I mentioned earlier, we made a list of the qualities we wanted in our future husband. Although I don't remember exactly what I wrote on my list, I know what the first thing my thirteen-year-old brain thought of:
1. Hot
and I'm willing to bet the rest of the list looks like this:
2. Funny
3. Nice
4. Smart
5. A good father
6. Responsible

After watching Pink's interview, I made new a list, and I'm happy to say it was much, much different than the one above. Since then, I've been trying to develop those characteristics within myself. That list has changed a lot, even in the past 3 years, but these are some of the qualities I've written down and tried to develop: loyal, genuine, honest, confident, respectful, reliable, considerate, communicates, compassionate, financially savvy, motivated, selfless, nonjudgmental, giving, positive, solid, patient, forgiving, and the list goes on... Notice, 'hot' isn't on the list at all. I know if a man has a good chunk of these qualities, I'll be attracted to him, and that's what matters. 'Hot' is just the surface. It's what can't be seen that is important.

I think we get so caught up in finding 'the one', that we forget to find ourselves first. Focusing on that list, and becoming the best version of myself, really helped me be happy in my own skin. I've learned a lot about myself through it, and it's made me someone I love. When it will be my time to buy a poofy dress, and make the biggest promise of my life, to a man I have no hesitations about, I don't know. But for now, I'm grateful I have time to focus solely on me, to learn and become someone I'm happy to be.  

To all my fellow singlers out there, love yourself first. Get to know you. Do what you love. The rest will fall into place. Don't let your happiness depend on a relationship.

This is one of my favorites.

And on this, what some of you may call 'single's awareness day' don't forget; On this earth, the first love we experience is our mother's love; after carrying us for nine months, she was the first one to hold us close, kiss our forehead, and her voice was the first one we heard whisper, "I love you". Then we feel our father's love, as our mom passed us to him, to hold closely, for the first time. Then perhaps he passed us to a sibling who'd been waiting for months to have a little friend, or a grandparent who could do nothing but smile at the sight of their new grandchild. Then an aunt, an uncle, a family friend. As we grow, those kinds of love and relationships grow as well. We meet more versions of love, through cousins, friends, teachers, neighbors, and co-workers. Once we've experienced all those, we meet the romantic kind of love. That kind is so new and exciting, it's easy to forget all those people's love we've had since our first day on this earth. If you're feeling left out on this day of love, don't. You've got plenty of love surrounding you, look inside yourself, and take a look around. It may not be the kind that comes with kisses and roses, but it's love nonetheless.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone :)

Oreo Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies

I've been wanting to try these puppies out for a long time. This afternoon I finally did! 

Through my good pal pinterest, I found the perfect recipe from picky-palate.com. I changed a couple things from their recipe:

To make them you'll need:

2 sticks softened butter
3/4 Cup packed light brown sugar 
1 Cup granulated sugar 
2 large eggs 
1 Tablespoon vanilla 
3 1/2 Cups all purpose flour 
1 teaspoon salt 
1 teaspoon baking soda 
11 oz bag chocolate chips 
1 bag Oreo Cookies

And here's what to do:
-Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream butter and sugars until well combined. Add in eggs and vanilla until well combined.
-Gradually add dry ingredients along with chocolate chips, until just combined. Using a cookie scoop take one scoop of cookie dough and place on top of an Oreo Cookie. Take another scoop of dough and place on bottom of Oreo Cookie. Seal edges together until Oreo Cookie is enclosed with dough. Place onto greased baking sheet and bake cookies 13-15 minutes or until cookies are baked to your liking. Let cool for 5 minutes before transferring to cooling rack. Makes about 20 cookies.

 These cookies are huge; bigger-than-the-size-of-my-fist huge!

And so delicious!

Happy baking! :)

The 'Just Hair' Bun

One day, years ago in high school, my hair was driving me crazy. I didn't have any bobby pins or ponytail holders, but I wanted it up! (We've all had those days, right?) So instead of paying attention to my teacher's power point, I spend that hour in psychology trying to figure out a way to get my hair up, using only my hair. Then, Ta Da!! The 'Just Hair' bun was born.

I couldn't get blogger to upload the video, so I put it on youtube. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBtbPFNDNz4&feature=youtu.be