Love is in the Air

It's the day of love. And love is something I've thought a lot about. I'm an almost-23-year old female, how could I not? It seems since I was a little girl I've been taught that it's one of, if not the greatest thing that can happen to me; Growing up, I'd watch The Little Mermaid over and over and over again, dreaming of not only to be a mermaid with an amazing singing voice, but to meet a handsome prince one day. I remember being taught as a young gal, in church, to marry a good man who deserves me. We even made time capsules to open on the day we get married, which I still have tucked away in my closet. And now, I've watched most of my friends and family members of age, meet their prince or princess and get married.

I used to have a lot of doubt about 'Happily Ever After'. I couldn't see how two people could genuinely be happy being together forever. But because there is so much hoopla about it, doesn't that mean someone has to have done it? And who wouldn't want to experience a relationship like that... I've heard it referred to as 'friendship set on fire'. I love that term. That makes sense to me. I want to be ready for that kind of connection. I don't want to be unprepared. So I've being doing what I can now, to be ready when I meet someone who I can see myself getting old with.

 I'm a pretty observant person. I watch people, sounds creepy.. I know. I make mental and written notes of what to do and what not to do in relationships. I take in what I personally experience, what I observe people doing, and things I read or hear. One thing I heard in 2010 really stuck with me. I was watching Oprah (totally miss her show by the way) and Pink was on. She had recently gotten back together with her husband after being separated. During their split, she said she was talking to her dad about it. He told her to make a list of what she wants in a spouse. Then look at the list and evaluate whether or not she had those qualities. If she didn't have them, how could she expect him to? That spoke volumes to me. It really got me thinking about who I wanted to be, not only for myself, but for my future family.

I remember in the time capsule I mentioned earlier, we made a list of the qualities we wanted in our future husband. Although I don't remember exactly what I wrote on my list, I know what the first thing my thirteen-year-old brain thought of:
1. Hot
and I'm willing to bet the rest of the list looks like this:
2. Funny
3. Nice
4. Smart
5. A good father
6. Responsible

After watching Pink's interview, I made new a list, and I'm happy to say it was much, much different than the one above. Since then, I've been trying to develop those characteristics within myself. That list has changed a lot, even in the past 3 years, but these are some of the qualities I've written down and tried to develop: loyal, genuine, honest, confident, respectful, reliable, considerate, communicates, compassionate, financially savvy, motivated, selfless, nonjudgmental, giving, positive, solid, patient, forgiving, and the list goes on... Notice, 'hot' isn't on the list at all. I know if a man has a good chunk of these qualities, I'll be attracted to him, and that's what matters. 'Hot' is just the surface. It's what can't be seen that is important.

I think we get so caught up in finding 'the one', that we forget to find ourselves first. Focusing on that list, and becoming the best version of myself, really helped me be happy in my own skin. I've learned a lot about myself through it, and it's made me someone I love. When it will be my time to buy a poofy dress, and make the biggest promise of my life, to a man I have no hesitations about, I don't know. But for now, I'm grateful I have time to focus solely on me, to learn and become someone I'm happy to be.  

To all my fellow singlers out there, love yourself first. Get to know you. Do what you love. The rest will fall into place. Don't let your happiness depend on a relationship.

This is one of my favorites.

And on this, what some of you may call 'single's awareness day' don't forget; On this earth, the first love we experience is our mother's love; after carrying us for nine months, she was the first one to hold us close, kiss our forehead, and her voice was the first one we heard whisper, "I love you". Then we feel our father's love, as our mom passed us to him, to hold closely, for the first time. Then perhaps he passed us to a sibling who'd been waiting for months to have a little friend, or a grandparent who could do nothing but smile at the sight of their new grandchild. Then an aunt, an uncle, a family friend. As we grow, those kinds of love and relationships grow as well. We meet more versions of love, through cousins, friends, teachers, neighbors, and co-workers. Once we've experienced all those, we meet the romantic kind of love. That kind is so new and exciting, it's easy to forget all those people's love we've had since our first day on this earth. If you're feeling left out on this day of love, don't. You've got plenty of love surrounding you, look inside yourself, and take a look around. It may not be the kind that comes with kisses and roses, but it's love nonetheless.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone :)