Heeey there.

Hello dearests,

Summer is a lovely time, isn't it; sunshine, barbecues, weddings, trips, hiking, swimming, friends home from college, so much goodness :) My brain has had a doozy of a time trying to keep up with everything. There's been so much to digest; so many changes and events have occurred, so many things I could write about. For now, this will have to suffice. I saw a few of my followees did this months and months (maybe even a year?) ago, here's mine :)

I love instagram. I'm realitively new to the smart phone world, and this app has been my faaaaave. I love being able to connect with people in that way. I can see little glimpses into the lives of my loved ones I haven't seen in years. And at the same time I can see what Taylor Swift is doing, or the work of a struggling photographer. So cool :) I find it interesting to see what people post about; what they want people to see, what they want to document for themselves. It's neat finding out things about people I didn't know before.

I realized I hate flip flops. I hate them. & I'm not one to throw the word 'hate' around. Just the name alone, 'flip flop'?? Eww. No offense to you flip flop lovers, I just can't do it. The only time I wear them is to the pool, or to get a pedicure. I feel weird wearing them. I feel all exposed.

I miss those people I used to be close with but due to history and circumstances, I have no communication with them. It breaks my heart. Know those terrible parting of ways, yet you still long for that time when you laughed uncontrollably with someone, or could give them a look and knew just what the other was thinking? I don't dwell on those times, or on missing them, because what's done is done. But there are those times where something reminds me of them, and my little heart hurts.

I want a baby. No big deal, right? I don't know why! I'm not even close to having one. I've just been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, why I'm here, what I have to offer. & 'mother' is what keeps coming to my head & heart. Perhaps one day if the stars align for me, I'll be able to have a few to teach & guide. If not, mother opportunities are still around me; I've got the sweetest little nephew you ever did see. I am an example to him.

I had the sweetest moment with him. He was over one night, and we were outside looking for bugs. He said, "I wanna hold you" so I picked him up, and he asked, "Do you have fireworks, Karinney?" I replied, "No, we don't, sorry man." Then he looked up and said, "Do you have stars?" I watched his eyes look up over the sky, smiled, and said, "You bet, we have all the stars you could want." I don't know why that hit me so much. Maybe because everything that kid says or does I fall in love with. Or maybe because at 3 years old, he's teaching me how to live life better than I can teach him. He looks at everything, takes the time to ask about it, learn about it, remember it, and appreciate it; whether it's bugs or stars.

I wish I could live in the mountains. I just want a little cottage. Know the one in 'Sleeping Beauty' that the 3 fairy ladies live in? I want that one. Then I'd sing and dance with birds.

I'm trying to date more. If you know me at all, you know I don't enjoy it. I find it very stressful and nerve-racking, which is silly. Mostly I feel this way because I don't like attention being on me. I don't like the fact that someone's focus is solely on me for a few hours. Eek. I signed up for online dating. Yipes. But these words kept popping in my head, If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen, so I felt obliged to sign up. It's been interesting so far, to say the least. It's only been a month or so, we'll see how this adventure goes :)

I dislike television. The fact that most living rooms are centered around the tv makes no sense to me at all. It’s called a living room. Yet we’re sitting and watching other people live in it (thank you 'reality' tv) for hours on end… am I the only one confused by this?

I dream. Literally. I've had 2 almost identical dreams within the past few weeks; one involving T Swift, the other, Nicolas Cage. In both dreams I meet each celebrity, and try to take a picture with them, but the camera on my phone won't work, even after hours of trying to fix it. So they leave, and I don't get a picture with them, and I am so sad (heart broken over Taylor, bummed about Nic, because Dal would have been so happy to see that pic ;))

 So weird, right? Anyone interpret dreams?

I can finally work out how I want to! :) Once upon a year ago, I hurt my left knee... which put a damper to exercising, which I need in my life. I took it easy for a while until it felt back to normal. Then a few months ago, I hurt my right knee... oh the joys. I was so very bummed. It's so frustrating to lose all that progress, you just watch it go. Technically, I've lost weight since then, but along with it, I lost my muscle (see ladies, it's not all about that number on the scale :)). So I've f.i.n.a.l.l.y been able to start upping my workouts, and it's a beautiful things :) Lessons learned: 1- Take care of my body; stretch, warm up, cool down. 2- Be grateful for a body that functions just how I want it to. 3- Pay attention during workouts; focus on what my body is doing and why.
  
I question my past decisions. That moment when you're in front of someone you used to have feelings for, and he's completely taken and all you can think about is what a catch he is and how you let him go... Worst. 

I’m taking 2 classes in the fall. I’m kind of excited about them. I decided to take classes I’m interested in, rather than required classes. It may seem like a waste because those credits aren’t going to a certain degree at the moment, but I think it's what I need. Who really has a plan for school and sticks to it? Maybe like 3.7% of the population... So hopefully this semester will be different than my past school experiences :)

I listened to Katy Perry's new song Roar... my new anthem :) I'm not her biggest fan, but this song is a yes, I got the eye of the tiger, the fighter, dancing through the fire 'cause I am a champion and

How's your summer been?