Life.

My brain has felt a bit like a jumbled mess the past couple weeks. I've been thinking about a lot; moments, change, speaking up, and regrets to name a few. Sometimes, I can't get out what I'm thinking into words and onto the screen in front of me. So here is my best effort :)

Moments & Change:

So many sweet little memories keep popping in my head, mostly of those who have drifted out of my life. I think those memories come back more frequently than those of who are in my life now, because I miss them. I miss hanging out with my little sister all the time, just because we could. I miss going to my good friend's and my favorite restaurant, staying there for hours, and eating garlic bread and fries. I miss laughing at literally, the dumbest things with a gal who I once was so close with... 

We're given 80+ years to be on this earth, to share our lives with people we love. No matter what happens, everyone you love to some degree or another, has a piece of your life, a piece of you. Those sweet memories will always be perfect to me, regardless of how my relationships with those people have turned out now. The reason those people and I are no longer close is because they changed, and I changed. Maybe at the time, who we were needed each other, and who we are now, doesn't.

 

They say the only thing constant in life is change. I surely believe that. Although we grow, change, and become, we can always keep those sweet little pieces of time with us. So I do :) and I squeeze every bit of joy out of those moments I have now; like craft night with Kim and making the greatest videos with heliumbooth. Playing Mario Party on the N64 with Brys (we are that cool :)). Spending hours at Zupa's talking with Dal. Laughing so hard on the phone with Ash. And singing songs with Owen as we walk to the park.

Speaking up and Regrets: 

The bff and I have been good friends for the past two years or so. We knew each other in high school, but were barely acquaintances. Turns out, we both wanted to be friends with each other, but thought the other was too cool for us.... Goodness. We could have had this friendship for so much longer, all one of us had to do was say, 'Hey, we should hang out.'

There are other people I wish I would have been friends with, and guys I wish I would have had the guts to talk to. So I've been trying to not let history repeat itself. I have regrets. I don't know how people don't. There are plenty of things I've done, said, or more often, not said, that I wish I could change. But I learn from those experiences and improve myself, which is key. 

So now, if there's someone I want to be friends with, I reach out to them. If there's a guy I want to go out with, I very, and I mean very nervously, tell them. It hasn't always turned out well, I'd say more not than often, but that's okay :) better to try than wonder 'what if...'. 

I'm determined to never ask myself, 'what if..' again. So when....

I'm blown away by someone's brilliance, I tell them.

I think someone looks amazing, I let them know.

Something good happens for someone, I tell them how happy I am for them.

A person lifts my spirits, I thank them.

Someone inspires me, I let them know how they impacted me.
I love someone, I not only tell them, but I show them.

Have a lovely weekend :)