It's a Good Life.

Hi :)

I'm happy.

I think it's safe to say I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole existence...

Is that crazy?

or just crazy cool?

I've found myself smiling, skipping, and singing more than usual. 

Usually, I never skip... at least not since 2nd grade, but lately, in parking lots, I just can't help myself.

I don't know why...

Maybe because I love fall; maybe my soul feels most alive this time of year.

Maybe it's this pumpkin patch I get to pass by almost every day.

Maybe it's because my best friend was reunited with her love after 2 years.

& it's the sweetest thing.

Maybe it's because this kid is in my life.

& he's changed me more than he'll ever know.

Maybe it's because I've got to hike a lot lately...

 

...with the loveliest...

...of people.

 & saw the greatest of things.

Snow in September?

 

welcome to Utah :)

 It doesn't get...

 ...more perfect...

 ...than this.

 

 Also, this is a bug.

Anyone know what on earth it is?

Besides a little ball of fuzz...

So cute.

Maybe it's because I have this woman as a sister.

Last night I was with her. She put her arm around me and said, "I love you Rinny." For no reason at all. What a sweety :)

Maybe it's because I got to hold this little piece of heaven for an hour last week.

so happy for you, Farr family :)

Maybe because this lady exist.

 

& she writes music for me to smile about, cry to, & feel empowered by.

Maybe it's because Kim is my best friend. & we had the best night at the fair.

 I've never been so lucky to call someone my friend. Recently someone said terrible, heartless things to me. Someone I care about very much, which makes it that much worse. I text her about it with shaky hands and tears in my eyes. Just a hint of her reply was;

The best revenge is your happiness!! Do not let him take that from you! Keep a smile on your face and he will know that he doesn't have any power of you anymore! You truly are the brightest light in the world. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Don't ever let anyone dim that light Rinne.. No one.

She reminded me I am in control of my happiness. I am in control of my story. She helped me realize happiness is completely and utterly a choice.

I've always been told this. I've always heard 'it's all about your attitude'. I've always known it,

but I've never fully lived it.

Until now.

There's no reason to mope about things out of my control. The facts are, I can't control;

-when people are rude to me, for no apparent reason.

-the price of Steve Madden boots...

-meeting the right one.

-my loved one's poor decisions.

There will always be something to complain about and be upset with, but look at the positive side;

-rude people have shown me how i do not want to be & pushed me to be nicer.

-Steve Madden's prices give me something to dream about ;)

-not having met the right one, gives me something to look forward to, each and every day. Because today, could be the day :)

-they're on their own journey, just like me. I made decisions no one -who cared about me- agreed with, and I came around. One day, those loved ones will too.

The guy who said those hurtful things to me, said them out of envy. I'm happy, he's not. It's that simple. Ultimately, I feel bad for him. I wish he could find peace in his life. I wish he didn't have to tear others down to feel better within himself. But sir, you will not tear me down. Your words will only build me up, because I know who I am; I am strong, I am powerful, I am enough, I am smart, I am courageous. & your words will have no hold on my heart or mind. I hope you find those same things within yourself one day.

Maybe it's because I've made peace with my past. 

Know those things you kick yourself for doing, even years after doing them? I thought I'd forgiven myself for doing, saying, and ignoring certain things...

Turns out I hadn't.

I started writing my book, but in order to tell the story I want to, I had to go back through my journals and read what I wrote during the times I was most lost.

It was really hard. I hated reading it. It brought back everything; every thought I had, every smell I breathed, every moment I wanted to scream, every time I cried out of confusion and frustration, every time I was too weak, too scared to speak up... I've kept those memories from the front of my mind, on purpose. Going back and seeing my writing on that lined paper, reminded me those things happened. They were real.

But, as I've written and pieced things together, I've realized how strong I am, how much I've learned, how far I've come, how much I've grown, how much I've changed, & how much I love who I am now- because of those places I've been, that will never be revisited.

The thing is, I could be upset with myself for those things in my old journals, but it wouldn't make sense, because of what I let those experiences shape me into. I don't let them have hold on me. I let them fuel me, to never be that way again, to always strive for progress & improvement, and to be that strong girl who has always been inside me.

& maybe, it's all of the above.

 Love it all & soak it all in; from pumpkin patches, to family, to good conversations, to those moments your heart feels like it will burst.

Life is good, folks.