I had compared my life to people I felt have more than I did, and that made me jealous, which is the worst feeling in the world. When I'm jealous, I get mad at myself for being jealous because I should just be happy for other people. Then I end up jealous and mad at myself. Ugh.
Then I compared my life to people I felt have less than me. And I felt so incredibly selfish and almost sick with myself that I could even complain about not having something that is so miniscule in the scheme of things. Then I felt bad for feeling bad for myself. But I realized, sometimes it's okay to feel bad for a moment. Just because my hurt is much, much, much less than someone else's, doesn't mean it's not pain.
I got caught up on dwelling on this one thing that wanted that I have little control over getting. So why was I fretting so much about it? Because I looked at other people who have it and they seem so happy with it, and I wanted that happiness too. But here's the thing: Right now I am happy without that thing. It was comparing myself to others that convinced me I needed that thing to be happy. Yes, it's something I would like eventually, but I want it when the time is right for me. Life has a way of giving us things when it's best for us, not when we want it. If you're waiting for something to make you 'happy', stop. It will happen when it happens. Don't sit around and wait to be happy. Do what you love. That thing will occur when it will. And when it does, you'll look back and say to yourself, 'Oooooh, that's why it didn't happen then.'
Love you Karinne!! Your words are always inspirational and spot-on! You're such an insightful and smart girl. :-) Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteAwe thanks Tasha!! That means a lot! I love you too :)
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